Hi everyone, I would like to create and record one or more sound works around the theme of “protocol”.
My understanding of protocol
I want to examine the concept of protocol from two perspectives.
Firstly, a protocol is a set of relationships among different parties, so it is chosen and built when it’s created. It was at first an active agreement. We always choose the kind of relationship we want to establish with other parties when we engage in a protocol consciously or unconsciously. The way we drive on the road based on a kind of relationship not only among cars and drivers, but also drivers and pedestrians - it’s now a natural part of our lives, but it wasn’t natural when it was first built. During this process, the stakeholders made active choices, and there were other possibilities that were sacrificed. The relationships between different stakeholders are then built and embedded into this specific protocol, and these relationships can be either positive or negative.
Secondly, a protocol is a set of rules and an implementation process aimed at achieving a desired outcome. It may eventually become a natural thing, and we cannot predict whether a specific protocol will endure in the future. The relationships embedded in the protocol are recreated and reproduced during this process. For example, the relationship between drivers and pedestrians.
My underlying assumption is that when we build protocols, we are also constructing specific kinds of relationships with other parties. And these relationships are stabilized through the functioning of the protocol.
My idea on PILL
My understanding is as above. Based on it, I want to create one or more sound materials (maybe songs) to describe a prototype of a story.
What I aim to describe is how a person, lost in a new environment, finds that the protocol - the relationship between themselves and the world (both the external world and their inner world) - is not working. One part of this protocol, their understanding of this world and the rules they followed, was built upon their past experiences. This person tries to use old protocols to deal with the new world and their inner dilemmas, but it may not work, as the protocol of their mind was mostly based on violence, in their past.
They tried to build a protocol with the world, through relationship and practice. It starts from themselves, then extend to the outside, slowly and steadily.
Drafts
Below are some lyrics draft I have attempted to create.
Protocol in Mind
A
It’s heavy cloud of the late august
You sit in the car, with a fresh mind
It’s a new city, new campus, and it’s university
It’s big, with elegant plants, buildings, squares
Other things you don’t know
Young boys and young girls they look no different from you
Some are shinny from the start, some always look into the ground
You are a bunch of high school students from everywhere
Get a ticket here after an examination, which you’ve prepared for 12 years
Or more. At least in your parents’ mind
All things are taken care, with seniors walk you through the dormitory
Meet new roommates, and then welcome party, and then military training
All things are listed and taken care
It’s all fine. The meal is nice, schedule is loose
And you will never be rebuked face to face in the class
B
Hobby is the new currency
Now everyone ask you what you are interested at
You never ask this question and you have never been asked before
There was no such a category in your mind
It may appeared on the exam paper, that’s it
A lot of things to follow, or you learn some new rules
people choose one or the other
you choose nothing, and no one cares about it
No good choice or you don’t know you need to choose?
May be both, you didn’t know
May be the only thing you learned is you have no choice
Without teachers and parents, you can still scold yourself
How does it feel? The person who hates you the most is yourself
When the code is seeded to your head
You tried your best, can’t decipher it
Banging head against the wall
looking for the rulebook
When the protocol is buried in your past
But the other side has changed
beasts coming out, angles coming out
Looking for things to eat or meditate
大家好,我想围绕"协议"这一主题创作和录制一个或多个声音作品。
对协议的理解
我想从两个角度来探讨协议的概念。
首先，协议是不同参与方之间所建立的一些关系，这些关系在创建时被决定和构建。 因此协议在最初是主动的，尽管后面也许会被自然化。我们在参与协议时，总是有意无意地选择想要与其他参与方建立的关系类型。如我们在道路上的驾驶行为，不仅体现了驾驶员和驾驶员之间的关系，也体现了驾驶员和行人之间的关系——这现在已成为我们生活的自然一部分，但在最初建立时并非如此，行车道是后于人行道的事物，在某种程度上它占有了原属于人行道的空间。在建立这一协议的过程中，利益相关方做出了主动选择，同时也放弃了其他可能性。而这些选择所建立的关系被嵌入特定的协议中——它们可能是积极的，也可能是消极的。
其次，协议是一套旨在实现期望结果的规则和实施过程。 从这一角度看它像算法。它最终可能变得很自然：在这个过程中,嵌入在协议中的关系得到了再创造和再生产。例如驾驶员和行人之间的关系，通过协议过程的不断重复而变得稳定和自然。
因此我的基本假设是：
- 当我们建立协议时，我们也在建构与其他相关方的特定关系。
- 这些关系通过协议的运行而不断再生产，并变得稳定。
PILL 构想
根据上面的思考，我想创作一个或多个声音作品（也许是歌曲），描述下面的故事原型：
一个迷失在一个新环境中的人发现，它与世界（包括外部世界和内心世界）之间的协议不再奏效。这个协议的一端，即它对这个世界的理解和习惯遵循的规则，建立其过去的经历之上。这个人试图使用旧的协议来应对新的外在世界和内心的困境，但走入穷途，因为它心中的协议大多在建构和稳固不同的暴力性的关系，这些协议来自于它的过去的生活。
最终它慢慢开始新的协议实践——通过反复的练习去建立某种新的关系。这个过程从重建与自我（内心世界）的关系开始，缓慢而稳定地延伸到外部世界。
草稿
以下是我尝试创作的一些歌词草稿。
协议之心
县城读书时，有老师常打学生
我记得，班主任抽人巴掌
像在打乒乓球
但我记不清楚那些事
我成为那些事
记得他经过课桌，我的恐惧
当众数落的难堪
我知道上课不要说话
更小心地抄作业
周围同学，我们一样
悄悄打破规矩，私下长成
五角星、波浪线，歪歪扭扭
形态各异的丑样子
安静，在读书和宣誓时响亮
我们的座位像波浪
两个星期滚动一次
后排、中间、前排
假装没看到女孩的脸
读大学，老师说：独立思考
上课，下课，教授离开教室
学生会、社团、都不属于你
乱蹦的心，少了点意思
不再有大人踩在脖颈
而我不曾知道如何抬起头
在教室，我的位置逐渐往后
我的心散落各处
也许没有心
越短暂的越接近空无
一遍遍对自己说：“你怎么能这样“
“你怎么这么没出息”
“你要努力”
而无人呼应
心里的鞭子落下，抽打
没有用了，于是更重
撞墙，寻找纪律与规则
所有的大仗都和自己打
直到布满血污
病了吃药，每天四颗
咀嚼，咀嚼，书上的方法
心得，写在笔记本上
或者不，推翻一个个答案
走三步退两步
学习爱的技术
给自己写信，每天——
十分钟正念
把算法写在纸上
练习
进入每一间安全的屋子
感受墙壁间隐秘的裂缝
黑还是那样让人不安
像光一样让人充满期待
你说，练习，不必靠的那么近
自由不在这里
正如黑暗不在
无论如何，我看见你伸出的手